Every now and then I see something on social media that talks about foods that are good for you and others that are bad and should be avoided like the plague.
Those types of statement can be very harmful. This idea is so hammered into our heads that many people end up developing a very distorted view of food and themselves.
Here’s how it usually goes…
You have this list of good, healthy foods that you need to eat on a regular basis – fruits, veggies, lean meat, fiber, whole grains, etc.
On the other side you have a list of big NOs. The forbidden ones – sugar, ultra-processed stuff, fatty foods, etc.
You make a promise to yourself – for the 100th time – that from now on you’ll eat healthy, lose weight and be the best version of yourself.
You plan all your meals with the foods from that big YES list. And this time you’ll steer clear from all the BAD ones for good. Like, for real.
You start on Monday because until then you’ll take the opportunity to eat all the stuff you’ll never eat again.
First day goes great and you eat according to plan. The food wasn’t exactly what you hoped for, but you managed.
Next day you’re slightly blah with having to eat oatmeal for breakfast. You don’t really like it, but it’s supposed to be good for you.
New week, new you.
Then, that same week, you have your niece’s birthday and you’re sweating bullets because there will be so much of the unhealthy stuff and you’ll need lots of willpower.
When the time comes, you’re frustrated because you want some of the birthday cake but can’t because of your diet. If only you had stuck to that first diet way back when, you’d be at your ideal weight now.
(Ahemm…dieting got you here in the first place)
You then start battling your cravings and soon enough all you can focus on is the food you want to eat but are not allowed to. It’s everywhere, you’re hungry and angry because that keeps happening to you. You can never NOT crave those.
You’re emotionally tired and your willpower finally goes down the drain. You end up reaching for the cake, the hot dog, the soda, the candies, etc.
Because you gave in to all the “bad” food then you’re a fiasco. You’re a big disappointment and doomed to forever struggle with this.
You feel sad, depressed, hopeless, like a failure and back to square one.
Since you were unable to follow the diet, you now finish the day or maybe the rest of the week eating everything in sight with a promise that tomorrow (or next week) things will change for DAMN SURE.
This all or nothing mentality is unsustainable and keeps you in this eternal loop of deprivation and bingeing.
The truth is that no food is inherently bad. Bad is what you make of it.
One of the biggest pitfalls of this mindset is that you equate your diet and food choices to your own value and end up developing a very poor and distorted relationship with food and ultimately with yourself.
Because you believe you either eat perfectly or not at all, you know no balance and keep blaming the 1 poor donut for ruining your diet. And because you had 1 donut now you believe you have reason to eat everything you feel like.
You live in the extremes. How realistic is that?
Are you happy 100% of the time? Are you always down to hang out? Are you always in a good mood?
Most likely not.
Does that change who you are as a person and now suddenly no one can be around you ever again because you’re no fun?
Does that make all the good times from the past go out the window and now you’re a bad friend?
Also no.
One donut does not affect your health and journey if your overall eating habits are consistently balanced.
The same way one side of broccoli is not going to negate the effect of a diet that mainly consists of sugar.
And to leave no room for interpretation, being consistent means you do one thing (or a few) more times than you do not do that thing.
Consistency beats perfection. Always.
Unless you have a condition that makes avoiding sugar, carbs, dairy and fatty foods a must, the odds of you spending your life not being around them or not eating any of that are very low.
My next question to you is, do you really want that anyway?
Here’s a better scenario…
You prioritize your health, but not just your physical health but your mental and emotional health as well.
You choose more nutritious food regularly but always being honest about what you like and don’t like. You make food choices from a place of overall satisfaction where it pleases you taste-wise AND feels good in your body.
You incorporate more fruits and veggies to your diet but also enjoy a burger or pizza without the guilt. You feel perfectly fine whenever you do choose to eat any of that because there are no rules or morality around it.
You go out with friends without being obsessively concerned with every bite you put in your mouth. You eat something you like and move on instead of freezing about your food choices. As you do these things you free up mental space, and start being PRESENT, and focusing on the moment you’re experiencing and who you’re with.
You buy some of your favorite sweets but end up forgetting you have them at home and realize you don’t even crave those like you used to.
Enjoying your meals and giving yourself permission to eat the foods you like is part of being healthy.
Knowing you CAN eat all the stuff you like, keeps you from engaging in a “Last Supper” type of behavior where you eat everything you can think of because it will be the last time you’ll ever eat those things.
This is one of the things we focus on in my 1-on-1 8-week program to help you break free from losing control with eating.
I also work on identifying what triggers this intense desire to eat, how this behavior presents itself, and how to interrupt the pattern.
My program isn’t about me giving specific nutritional guidance (I assume that you already know quite a bit about nutrition) or weight loss – we focus just on healing your relationship with food, your thoughts, emotions and habits around food.
The goal of the program is for you to get to a place in your life where you’re able to just sit down and be happy about what you eat. You’re no longer in that cycle of overanalyzing your food, restricting your favorite things, and then bingeing on those things.
PM me if you’re interested, and we can have a brief conversation to see if you’re a good fit for this program.
