So many people believe that to be in control with food you gotta keep that, or any triggering food, as far away as possible. Out-of-sight, out-of-mind.
I call it BS!
Here’s a conversation I had…
I was talking to a friend the other day who was telling me how she can NEVER give in to chocolate because she won’t stop eating. She won’t allow herself to buy any and whenever she’s at work or anywhere with it available, she will not eat any piece because she won’t stop.
When she has one bite she engages on what’s called the “what-the-hell” effect. Once the rule of not eating chocolate is broken she eats non-stop ‘till she’s sick because she screwed up already so why not?
She then re-commits to staying away from it starting the next day.
Sounds familiar?
One of the worst things to do to “try and control” yourself with food is create rules and limitations around it. These make the problem so much worse.
When you create lists of foods you can have and of ones that are off-limits, you’re making those so much more enticing. You can’t have them. So good, and yet so forbidden!
It increases your desire for those very foods!!
By rigidly limiting the amount or kind of food you’re allowed to eat, you end up experiencing the effect of psychological deprivation, and that sets you up to crave larger amounts of that food.
The deprivation-backlash can be intense once the rules are broken, which is then followed by more promises and rules.
The cycle never ends.
What is the solution? You might ask. And I shall respond…
You need to give yourself UNCONDITIONAL PERMISSION TO EAT.
I know right now you’re thinking I lost my mind and are seriously considering deleting this. Well, don’t. Hear me out…
Unconditional permission to eat means:
When you TRULY do that, you eliminate the urgency to eat.
“I’ve tried that in the past but it didn’t work. I never stopped eating.”
While I wasn’t following you closely I’m willing to bet you gave yourself a pseudo-permission to eat and the foods were never really unconditionally allowed.
You were indeed eating the food but deep down there was a voice within you saying: “you shouldn’t be eating this”, or “okay I’ll eat it but in moderation”. So, in reality, you were emotionally depriving yourself of it in the future (I’ll have a bit but I gotta stop). In a sense you were still limiting it.
When you make peace with food, you allow all foods into your eating world so they all become emotionally equal. Whether you eat chocolate or kale, you’ll feel the same. No better, no worse.
As this happens, you allow “habituation” to happen. Habituation means you’re exposed to something so often that that very thing loses its appealing.
It does not mean you’ll get tired of it and never want to eat it again. It simply means it’s no longer enticing, and you’re not controlled by it.
You know you can have it whenever you want. You’re not bad or good for it. It’s neutral.
So, if you’re like my friend and runs from chocolate like you’d run from the devil, you’d instead keep your favorite chocolate around so you can have it whenever the desire strikes.
You would savor every bite of it, free of guilt, and move on with your day knowing that if you want more you can still have it. That same day or anytime after.
Also, no more empty promises and emotional exhaustion.
Helping you to release the mentality that some foods are “good” and others are “bad” is one of the main things I address with clients in my 2-month 1-on-1 coaching program.
I also work on identifying what triggers your episodes of uncontrollable eating, how to reconnect and listen to your body signals, incorporating movement that feels good to you as opposed to punishment for eating, and much more.
This program isn’t about having me give specific nutritional guidance (I assume that you already know quite a bit about nutrition) or weight loss – we focus just on healing your relationship with food, your thoughts, emotions and habits around food.
The goal of the program is for you to get to a place in your life where you’re able to just sit down and be happy about what you eat. You’re no longer in that cycle of overanalyzing your food, restricting your favorite things, and then bingeing on those things.
PM me if you’re interested, and we can have a brief conversation to see if you’re a good fit for this program.
